Monday, February 15, 2010


We are all connected to each other. These connections come in many different forms. If we are lucky, those connections don't fade into oblivion. I am one of those people who appears to have lots of friends...acquaintances really. I suppose it is because I relate to a lot of different people. I love that...

These connections surprise us. Sometimes you connect to a person that is nothing like you, on the surface at least. Then you build a bridge, and you grow, and life continues in the way that it is supposed to.

It breaks my heart when these bridges become weak, or brittle. Sometimes they just need a bit of repair. Other times, they just need to be rebuilt entirely. Even still, some other times they but be destroyed completely. Today I had to burn some bridges. It makes me feel weak--like I couldn't keep them strong, or repair them fast enough. I know that it isn't my fault entirely, but it still hurts a little.

This bridge involved someone I used to love, and the person he loves now. My concern for this person's welfare is still present...but I cannot allow myself to give in to the ignorance of the situation they brought to me. So I deleted every connection to them, after I found that the friendship had been left to spoil for much too long. It SUCKS! Losing a friend in any way, for any reason, really sucks. I'm not the kind to give up easily. But, I grew we all do.

I guess I just want to say that this should not happen so frequently...I've been lucky enough that it hasn't. If someone is worth your love, your care, and your attention, then maybe that person is also worth the work it takes to maintain that bridge to them. No man is so rich as to throw a friend away. Lol. I love that quote, but I don't know who said it.

"...the people I've met are the wonders of my world.." - Adele


We got snow! In Natchitoches! It was a few days ago, but I took a few pics of my frivolity. It turned me into a 5 year old...and I have never had so much wonder in a day. I genuinely could not appreciate how beautiful this new world was to me.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Control yourself. Take only what you need from it.

Nostalgia sneaks up on each of us, in various ways. In some manner or another, we each yearn for what has been and can no longer be. In the past couple of years, I have indulged in it quite blatantly. Today I received a package in the mail--a twin bed sheet set from the mid or late 80s. I became curious one day and just looked to see if I could actually find it--the pillow case I clung to as a child. I found one on eBay (no surprise) in GREAT condition! Better still, it was the entire sheet set, and very cheap. I opened the box as soon as I got home and was just...happy to see it again. Its a kid I loved the HELL out of whatever pillow was in that case...and I never realized that until I was much older.

This isn't the only time I have made purchases based on childhood possessions. I bought a Popple a few years ago--the exact same style of the one I had as a kid. It was my teddy bear--the one toy I actually remember dragging around with me when my head was hardly above the ground.

I don't know what it is...I'm only 25! I feel like my childhood was ages ago. I barely remember much of it. Though a lot of it was painful and my family was unlucky, I'm strong enough to face it now...which may explain why recently I have been remembering things I had forgotten. I remember all the things I never saw in real life as a kid (but have NOW!) which includes: a rubber ducky--actually IN the bath tub, a pig-shaped piggy bank, a tea kettle, a sewing machine...just like, random stuff that tv families had, but made no sense for MY family to have.

I plan to keep the sheet set I bought for my kid to use...whenever the hell that may be. 10-15 years from now? I think it would be...special.

I suppose a big part of being a kid is seeing the world how it really is...fresh, new, and confusing. How does one kid grow up completely pessimistic about his future, and another the polar opposite? I see kids today and I sometimes miss what the have. Children accept truths that we can't. It's kind of beautiful.

Now don't trip...I'm no Michael Jackson (God rest him) makes me feel lucky that I can relate to them somehow.

So...for what it is worth, don't be afraid to embrace a little more of your childhood. Maybe not by going out and buying items from your youth...but perhaps by remembering how goofy you were, or how scared...or how precious you actually were--perhaps that can change the way you feel about who you are right now. We were all given the same set of tools. Use them to build up whatever your heart wants.